Slow Communication

I love letters, so it was great the other day to get a real letter. I want to write back my friend who wrote me, but I'm waiting until I have a good chunk of time to write a thoughtful response. Letter writing is a slower form of communication on several fronts: it will take me longer to find the time to write, it will take me longer to write the letter, and the letter could take several days to arrive.

Today I was thinking about how when it comes writing a letter the sender must trust the receiver's silence. That is that instead of getting feedback in a day or even an hour, it could be several days to even several weeks before my friend will get a response. We're not used to this extended form of communication anymore, and I think we've lost something for it.

Sometimes the last thing we need is instant communication. Sometimes a good day or two of sitting on a thought is wisdom. "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).

Not only is it wisdom to deliberate over some of what we communicate, but slowing down communication teaches us to trust the silences--to allow a certain space in every relationship for quietness, to respect even our closest friends' privacy.

Giving room for privacy brings me to another point. America is a very public world. Telling everyone our secrets on TV or in a memoir is not only acceptable, but lauded as healthy--good therapy. While there are some secrets that are dangerous if kept, there are other secrets that should remain just that, knowledge privy to just a few or even one.