Friday, July 19, 2013

Chattanooga Angel

I was standing outside Subway with my niece and nephew looking at a map of downtown Chattanooga when a kind older gentleman approached us on a bike and asked us where we wanted to go. I told him, "I'm looking for the free shuttle stop." He directed me to cross the street and go down one block. We found the stop, but I wasn't positive we were at the right place. What if he had just directed us to a bus stop? After waiting about 10 minutes we saw the free shuttle on the other side of the street. I watched it and told my niece and nephew it would most likely go up the street and circle back, but I felt anxious that I was wrong. As I was wondering if we should make a mad dash across the street to catch the shuttle the same man on the bike showed up again and said, "The shuttle will circle around soon and come here. It should be here in 5 minutes."

It was such a simple thing directions and reassurance, but I saw this as a tenderness from God. Sometimes  he shows up just in time to let me know--the shuttle will come--what I need will be taken care of even if I feel anxious.

The funny thing is that my niece and nephew told me that they had seen the man on bike earlier. They said that he was the man we chatted with about a weird metalic statue (this had happened about an hour earlier on the other side of the river at a different shuttle stop).

Thursday, July 18, 2013

God Knows My Heart

I remember a story of a child who was too scared to go into a dark room. The mother said, "Don't be scared. Your guardian angel is with you." The child replied, "That's what I'm scared of."

Lots of people say, "God knows my heart." They usually mean it as a way to justify themselves. "Yes, everyone at work may be angry with me, but God knows my heart." I think like that child in the story before that's what we should be scared of. God knows our hearts. His assessment of the human heart is not always  positive. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people" (John 2:24).

Thomas Brooks in his book Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices said, "Christ, the Scripture, your own hearts, and Satan’s devices, are the four prime things that should be first and most studied and searched. If any cast off the study of these, they cannot be safe here, nor happy hereafter."

I have found some pretty basic heart tests mostly through failing them.

How do I react when someone disagrees with me?
How do I react when someone tailgates me or cuts in front of me?
How do I react when I'm disappointed in a person?
How do I react to criticism?
How do I react when I'm overlooked?
How do I react to jealousy?
How do I react to unsolicited advice?
How do I react when someone corrects the way I do something?

I find any automatic turn to anger or a quick defensiveness as pretty good signs that I'm in for a hearty dose of God's grace to transform my heart.

Father, you know my heart. Please change it once again today! "As the deer pants for streams of water,so my soul pants for you (Psalms 42:1).

I got the Brook's quote from the following blog post:  http://www.challies.com/reading-classics-together/satan-loves-to-sail-with-the-wind#more








A Meditation on Not Changing the Toilet Paper

Probably one of the hardest things to do is to change a roll of toilet paper. I must admit if there are four pieces of toilet paper left, I'll try to use three, so I don't have to change the roll. 

It may sound odd but not changing the toilet paper reveals somethings about my heart. These are the heart lessons I take away from my neglect.

1. I can be slothful. "Sloth is. . . spiritual or emotional apathy neglecting what God has spoken, and being physically and emotionally inactive" ("Sloth, Deadly Sin", 2013). Yes, I'd rather let a small thing slide then do the work to get it fixed.

2. Self often comes first. I don't neglect to change the toilet paper out of malice.  I never think, "Oh, I really hope the person after me knows what its like to sit on the toilet at 3 am and wonder why there is just a cardboard roll." I'm not even thinking of the person after me: therein lies my problem.

3. I sometimes hope that other people will take care of my problems. In the same way I believe in toilet paper fairies (you know those magical people that change toilet paper rolls for recalcitrant souls), I am tempted to neglect to do something in hopes that someone else will do it for me.

Leaving the toilet paper unchanged is not terribly wicked, but it is flotsam from my heart. It reminds me that I'm still in need of God's transforming grace.  Father, keep working on my heart. Work in me so that the first thing on my mind is not myself and my ease but you then others. Give me the grace to be actively engaged in life--to not even neglect even the small things.

Sloth, deadly sin. (2013). Wikipedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloth_(deadly_sin)







Thursday, July 11, 2013

Sweetness

Sweetness doesn't come to the fence with all the other goats. She sits far back in the pasture on an overturned water container and watches, but she doesn't come. Up until a month ago she would have been the first of the smaller goats to come the fence to eat the treats that my nephew and niece offer. That was until a stranger came and cut off her ears. It's a bizarre crime. Why would anyone hurt a goat?

I watch my nephew and niece pull up vines and tie them to the top of the fence. I watch all the goats nibbling up the vines, and I look at Sweetness in the distance--refusing to come. "Even animals lose their trust", I think.

"For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now"  (Romans 8:22).

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Smell of BBQ

I love the smell of BBQ. This might sound odd coming from a  life-long vegetarian, but it's one of my favorite smells. At twilight I was enjoying the pleasant Florida weather by biking around my neighborhood when I caught a whiff of some BBQ. I looked up and saw my neighbors all gathered around a BBQ grill, talking and laughing.

It's so simple, I thought, of course I love the smell of BBQ. BBQ is the smell of fellowship and of friendship. It's the smell of neighbors who talk to each other and of families who spend summer afternoons at the park.

It was such a good thing to see people outside. It's a strange phenomenon I've noticed since returning from Thailand. Americans don't spend a lot of time outside. We don't talk to our neighbors. As I rode past the group, I waved. I happen to know one of the guys standing next to the grill--he's a friend from church--also a vegetarian. He looked like he was having a great time chatting up the neighbors while drinking orange soda.

I'll probably never eat meat--I dislike the taste of it--but I'll always love the smell of BBQ.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Setting Up Chairs

Friday night I was setting up chairs for our monthly iRecite Bible memorization group when I realized that in the three ministries I've been involved in since I moved to Orlando, I've always been responsible for setting up chairs. It's a great metaphor for the way I want to serve God.

Lord, help me to set up circumstances where people can find you.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Faithful

"[Joesph's] faithful attention to duty in every station, from the lowliest to the most exalted, had been training every power for its highest service....There are few who realize the influence of the little things of life upon the development of character. Nothing with which we have to do is really small. The varied circumstances that we meet day by day are designed to test our faithfulness and to qualify us for greater trusts. . . ." (Patriarchs and Prophets, 222, 223).

Joesph inspires me. Like him, I want to be faithful in little things. I have come to see that these "little things" cover a broad area of my life.

I want to challenge myself with the questions below:

Am I faithful in my vision?
Am I faithful in showing kindness?
Am I faithful in nurturing my relationships?
Am I faithful in setting, choosing, and living my greatest priorities?
Am I faithful in praise?

There is much to be faithful in! But praise God, I serve Him who can make me faithful. "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us" (Ephesians 3:20). 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Rat that Came to Bible Study*


The people sitting across from us saw our faces before they saw the rat. We had left the door open, and the rat decided the church fellowship hall looked awfully inviting; it had been raining after all.

The look of horror on our faces set everyone asking, "What?" Those who could see it screamed, "A rat! A rat!" Until those who couldn't see it (the rat had walked behind their ankles) started screaming too. The pastor embraced her friend sitting next to her and several others jumped up on their chairs. Pandemonium.

The rat raced for the back of the fellowship hall. We all looked at each other for a minute.  Then someone said, "We must catch it." The bravest jumped up and went after the it with a trash can. They caught it and dumped it outside. We shut the door.

The rat definitely makes the top ten list for interesting-things-that-have-happened at Bible study.* And yet, I'm not completely surprised it was there. The experience made me think of how the demon in Screwtape Letters describes how he had gotten an atheist to not think about God by reminding him that it was time for lunch.

Distraction is one of Satan's best tools. He encourages rats to come to Bible study. He encourages people in church to notice the odd colored carpet, the comment a friend made before church, the off-key singer, the text message coming in, the hunger pains--anything, anything but the message that the listener must hear for that day.

Lord, may I never be distracted when you are moving on my heart.

*Technically, it was our scripture recitation group meeting. We meet together once a month a recite the scripture we memorized that month. See  http://www.irecite.org/.