Peace

"You got your peace back." My college friend's words still echo in my head. Peace is so important. This week I lost a little of my peace. I was "off" for part of the week and then last night after talking with a good friend (mostly complaining to her), I realized why I was off; I had chosen not to surrender an area of my life to God.

"No," I got this one God, "I don't want you to take it!" Funny thing about not surrendering is that it really is a drag. And yet I hang on so hard! Maybe it is because I still want to believe that I know what is ultimately better for my life than God does.

So I talked with God last night. I told him, "I'm sorry I hung onto this. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you. Please help me to want what you want." After praying this prayer, I got in bed and decided to see how many things I could ask God for before I fell asleep. I'm not sure at what prayer I was one when I finally drifted off to sleep, but I did.

Then I slept the best I've slept in weeks and woke up refreshed, clear-headed, and hungry again for God (see, that was the other thing, my appetite for God waned while I clung tightly to what I wanted).

"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid" (John 14:27).