Transition

There's been some transitions in my life of late. Two ministries that I was involved in have both ended (one I ended myself). People I once saw frequently are harder to see because of those transitions as well as the busy nature of life. It seems as if a wave of community that I belonged to crested and dispersed. While that was happening, I was very busy. I put service over community, which, in my little world, makes sense--or is more like my default position.

But I realized that I could not serve long term unless I had community. So I've made a couple of changes and despite my sadness over the transitions--I have hope, a peace in knowing that God is here with me.

Awkward Classroom Moment

I walked by a student the other day and said, "Hi Frank." He said hi back. I then said, "Wait your name isn't Frank." "No, he said, "It's Claude."

Unfair

I walk every morning (okay, I attempt to walk every morning). Yesterday morning, I was in bed in the prone position my face smushed into my pillow. I knew I had to get up, but I just didn't want to. I laid there struggling and then a text from the gospels came to my mind, "Get up and walk." I started laughing. "Lord," I prayed, "That's unfair!"

Judgment

Judgment is the full revealing of who I am. It is as if someone took a complete fingerprint of my life and laid it down on paper. Judgment tells the truth. It reveals all of me. My selfishness, my quick-to-sin-ness, my pride, my vanity, judgment is God’s ultimate confrontation with me as a sinner.

How will I stand in judgment with God’s light piercing me? How will I stand with every defect revealed, every sin told at his glance? I will live then under the shadow of His wings. Under the wings of Him who said, “I will save my people from their sin.” I probably will be incapable of standing. For judgment will reveal to me—(my mind’s clearest moment) that my presence in heaven only comes as a divine favor, a cosmic recklessness to save this sinner. Under His wings and His glory and His purity the only words available to me will be “worthy is the lamb who was slain to receive honor and glory and power.” I will have at last fully entered what I only partially knew on earth—His Kingdom.

The Culture Shock of Heaven

I came across a file today with some of my old journal entries from about seven years ago. I'm going to share some here.

There’s a certain culture shock when entering the kingdom of God. The delights of heaven are not always the delights of earth. We enter into God’s kingdom at times expecting it to be run by the general rules of the here and now. Then God asks us to give up an earthly rule—maybe we have to give up our right to do whatever we want, maybe we have to give up our right to pride—and this process hurts. We yelp a bit at it. We complain to God. “Wasn’t this Christian life supposed to give me happiness?” We want to give up and get out during those times. But God says, “Wait. Trust.”

And so we wait. And after the initial shock the place becomes more comfortable. The terrain of God’s kingdom becomes familiar and then the day finally comes where we are such a part of God’s kingdom that the land that we came from seems dull, gray and boring by comparison. We no longer miss the “leeks and cucumbers” of Egypt. We traveled away, but we are no longer homesick. We recognize instead that what we left behind was not our home, but our exile.

Richness

I was recently discussing with a friend about another friend that has moved away from Orlando. I said, it's not like the song, "'I can't live if living is without you.' I don't need this friend to function, but her absence has made my life less rich."

I think this can be said of friends in general. Friends add texture to life. They give variety to the emotional terrain of our inner worlds.

But there's something else here. Each friend is uniquely valuable. If there is no snowflake alike; there's no friendship alike. I value the friend I mentioned earlier because her capacity for being profoundly serious and delightfully goofy (sometimes all in the same conversation)adds a little extra joy to my life.

I'm blessed with the richness my friends give my life.

New Blog

I'm not one for making New Year's resolutions. I like to joke that I enjoy making resolutions like, "Eat more chocolate." (Actually, I do make resolutions, but I make them the night before my birthday.) Anyhow, I did make a New Year's resolution. I want to spend this year saturated in the gospels. To do this, I'm trying to write a blog a day about a text or several texts from the gospels. I've started in and here's the link: http://athisfeet2012.blogspot.com/. Check it out when you get a chance.