I settle into my seat on the shuttle ride from my college to the school's parking lot. The shuttle is mostly empty so I lean my back against the window and stretch my legs out. Someone else comes in and sits on the other side of the aisle. Suddenly, I want to pull my feet in. The habit of not pointing my feet has become so ingrained it's almost a reflex. I feel a second of discomfort knowing that my toes are pointing toward this new person on the shuttle--but then I relax--nobody there knows I'm being rude by Thai standards.
While living in Thailand, I had to be very conscious of my feet. As a westerner, not particularly worried about my feet, this was a learning experience--to learn how offensive it could be to point with my feet or to put my feet in the wrong place. I still remember getting chastised by a bus driver in Bangkok for putting my feet on an engine covering. (It really seemed like a nice place to plop them.)
There are other ways living in Thailand has affected me. Just yesterday, I was talking with a woman who talked very loudly throughout our whole conversation. I was amazed that I even noticed this, and that the way she talked made me feel like she was not very refined or educated. (I'm not sure I would have felt that way before Thailand.)
So many times in America the attitude is simply "It's a free country!I can do what I want" or "This is who I am, deal with it." This attitude covers a multitude of social sins.
Lynne Truss, in her book Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door argues that people are rude because they have lost the distinction of private and public space. She notes how people often act as if the world is their living room when it is not. It's an attitude that simply shuts out all other people.
I'm grateful to Thailand because the country taught me to be more thoughtful of others--to adjust my volume, my feet, and my attitude in the company of others. I'm not in this world alone--what I do does affect other people.
*This is not to say that we are social dolts in the states, but we don't value enough the kindness of courtesy.
3 comments:
Nice post, Julie.
Today I also had an "I miss Thailand" moment... I bought a pineapple (doesn't sound terribly daring, does it?...but, just so you know, we don't really get pineapples in this part of the country...so I paid like 10 dollars for it!...just think, we used to be able to buy one for one or two dollars, ha!)...I peeled it and "carved" the eyes out (is that the correct term?...sounds bloody...) anyway, I was a bit out of practice and it didn't come out as neat as the Muak Lek market ladies used to do it, but...it was good!
Wow, that took dedication to buy pineapple that expensive. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who misses Thailand. Ha. Ha. About carving the pineapple eyes out...yes...that does sound awfully bloody.
Isn't it amazing though how good something can be if you haven't had it for a long time? I'm glad you enjoyed it!
It amazing how even after living in Thailand for a short time, I find it extremely rude when people put their feet up or point them to other people, I totally understand why Thai people think it's rude!
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