Chattanooga Angel

I was standing outside Subway with my niece and nephew looking at a map of downtown Chattanooga when a kind older gentleman approached us on a bike and asked us where we wanted to go. I told him, "I'm looking for the free shuttle stop." He directed me to cross the street and go down one block. We found the stop, but I wasn't positive we were at the right place. What if he had just directed us to a bus stop? After waiting about 10 minutes we saw the free shuttle on the other side of the street. I watched it and told my niece and nephew it would most likely go up the street and circle back, but I felt anxious that I was wrong. As I was wondering if we should make a mad dash across the street to catch the shuttle the same man on the bike showed up again and said, "The shuttle will circle around soon and come here. It should be here in 5 minutes."

It was such a simple thing directions and reassurance, but I saw this as a tenderness from God. Sometimes  he shows up just in time to let me know--the shuttle will come--what I need will be taken care of even if I feel anxious.

The funny thing is that my niece and nephew told me that they had seen the man on bike earlier. They said that he was the man we chatted with about a weird metalic statue (this had happened about an hour earlier on the other side of the river at a different shuttle stop).

God Knows My Heart

I remember a story of a child who was too scared to go into a dark room. The mother said, "Don't be scared. Your guardian angel is with you." The child replied, "That's what I'm scared of."

Lots of people say, "God knows my heart." They usually mean it as a way to justify themselves. "Yes, everyone at work may be angry with me, but God knows my heart." I think like that child in the story before that's what we should be scared of. God knows our hearts. His assessment of the human heart is not always  positive. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9). "But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people" (John 2:24).

Thomas Brooks in his book Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices said, "Christ, the Scripture, your own hearts, and Satan’s devices, are the four prime things that should be first and most studied and searched. If any cast off the study of these, they cannot be safe here, nor happy hereafter."

I have found some pretty basic heart tests mostly through failing them.

How do I react when someone disagrees with me?
How do I react when someone tailgates me or cuts in front of me?
How do I react when I'm disappointed in a person?
How do I react to criticism?
How do I react when I'm overlooked?
How do I react to jealousy?
How do I react to unsolicited advice?
How do I react when someone corrects the way I do something?

I find any automatic turn to anger or a quick defensiveness as pretty good signs that I'm in for a hearty dose of God's grace to transform my heart.

Father, you know my heart. Please change it once again today! "As the deer pants for streams of water,so my soul pants for you (Psalms 42:1).

I got the Brook's quote from the following blog post:  http://www.challies.com/reading-classics-together/satan-loves-to-sail-with-the-wind#more

A Meditation on Not Changing the Toilet Paper

Probably one of the hardest things to do is to change a roll of toilet paper. I must admit if there are four pieces of toilet paper left, I'll try to use three, so I don't have to change the roll. 

It may sound odd but not changing the toilet paper reveals somethings about my heart. These are the heart lessons I take away from my neglect.

1. I can be slothful. "Sloth is. . . spiritual or emotional apathy neglecting what God has spoken, and being physically and emotionally inactive" ("Sloth, Deadly Sin", 2013). Yes, I'd rather let a small thing slide then do the work to get it fixed.

2. Self often comes first. I don't neglect to change the toilet paper out of malice.  I never think, "Oh, I really hope the person after me knows what its like to sit on the toilet at 3 am and wonder why there is just a cardboard roll." I'm not even thinking of the person after me: therein lies my problem.

3. I sometimes hope that other people will take care of my problems. In the same way I believe in toilet paper fairies (you know those magical people that change toilet paper rolls for recalcitrant souls), I am tempted to neglect to do something in hopes that someone else will do it for me.

Leaving the toilet paper unchanged is not terribly wicked, but it is flotsam from my heart. It reminds me that I'm still in need of God's transforming grace.  Father, keep working on my heart. Work in me so that the first thing on my mind is not myself and my ease but you then others. Give me the grace to be actively engaged in life--to not even neglect even the small things.

Sloth, deadly sin. (2013). Wikipedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloth_(deadly_sin)

Sweetness

Sweetness doesn't come to the fence with all the other goats. She sits far back in the pasture on an overturned water container and watches, but she doesn't come. Up until a month ago she would have been the first of the smaller goats to come the fence to eat the treats that my nephew and niece offer. That was until a stranger came and cut off her ears. It's a bizarre crime. Why would anyone hurt a goat?

I watch my nephew and niece pull up vines and tie them to the top of the fence. I watch all the goats nibbling up the vines, and I look at Sweetness in the distance--refusing to come. "Even animals lose their trust", I think.

"For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now"  (Romans 8:22).