Musings on Self-Sacrifice

Tonight the pastor of my church spoke about John the Baptist. John the Baptist is one of the most amazing characters in the Bible. He gave so much of himself and really received so little a reward from an earthly perspective. The part of John the Baptist's story that moves me the most is when his disciples complain to him that Jesus was stealing John's followers. John responds, "He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30).

John makes me think of another favorite character in the Bible: Jonathan. Jonathan had nothing to to gain from his friendship with David. In fact, Jonathan, in essence, befriended his rival. How many of us would befriend a person we knew would make us lose our job? (It makes me wonder if David's love for Jonathan took this into account. David knew the cost that Jonathan paid for friendship with him.)

These are male examples of self-sacrifice. From what I understand about men, success and reputation are key components of their self-esteem. It's difficult for Christian men not to compare their ministries (at least that's the word on the street from my pastor dad). I won't deny that success at work isn't important to women. Yet I don't think we invest as much in our success as men. John and Jonathan sacrificed their core hungers (honor) for someone they loved. What might women sacrifice? The answer, I think, is relationships. Could we ever sacrifice a relationship (or our stake in a relationship) because of love?

Let me illustrate. Years ago when I was becoming friends with one of my best friends now, Melissa, I remember having a conversation with her best friend, Monique. Monique said about my friendship with Melissa, "The heart can only get bigger." I was shocked. Monique was generous in an area of life that is profoundly difficult to be generous in: relationships. Other women might have felt jealous or protective of their best friend but not Monique; she welcomed my friendship with Melissa. (An act, by the way, that earned her my undying loyalty and love.)


I want to be like John. I want to be like Jonathan. I want to be like Monique. I want to be generous with my reputation, my career, and my friendships.

Ultimately, I want to be like Christ who "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped" (Philippians 2:6) and who "laid down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

Wiggling in the Presence of God

It's amazing the number of things I can do while praying instead of actually praying. Sharing my burdens with God transitions into making lesson plans for the day(a teacher's job never ends!)or intercession turns into simply thinking about the person I'm praying for. I constantly have to redirect my thoughts to prayer, and I often pray to remember that God is listening.

This morning while praying I was meditating on the text. "Be still and know that I'm God." As I meditated on that text, the thought struck me, "You are wiggling in the presence of God." I had to laugh. I'm God's wiggler.

What I do

Jogging Park

One of my little pleasures is a park that I can jog in near my house. The park is basically a sidewalk (and at times a boardwalk) that runs around a lake. I love jogging there at sunset. I love the lights on the lake, and I love watching all the people. There are so many different kinds of people at this park: parents with young kids, couples, old men, teenagers walking their dogs etc. There are languages to listen to and conversations to eavesdrop on (I shamelessly eavesdrop on strangers' conversations). Here's just a small sample of what the park feels like:

Still

The lake is so still today that you can see a reflection of the clouds. I walk back from lunch looking at the lake and wishing that I could share this walk with my friends abroad. I wish for one day I could bring people from my most recent past to my present and introduce my life to them. I wish to share the small things: southern food (grits for breakfast!), my commute to work (ahh...I-4 is crowded again), and the grocery store I shop in (yeah for Publix!). I wish to share the big things. I want to introduce them to my Florida friends. These new silly deep thoughtful friends that God is bringing into my life. I want them to share a Sunday tubing down a river and eating Vietnamese takeout while watching a movie or a Saturday night spent swimming and talking late into the night. I want to connect my worlds. This has always been my desire. There are so many places and people I love. I belong to too many worlds.

Fresh Spring Rolls

I love eating at a local vegan restaurant in Orlando called Loving Hut. One of my favorite dishes there is their fresh spring rolls. I had no idea how easy the fresh spring rolls were to make until my housemate introduced me to rice paper. Here are some of the spring rolls I made the other day.



I took rice paper and soaked it in water for about 3 seconds. Then I put lettuce, carrots, crushed peanuts, tofu, soy sauce, and agave on the rice paper and wrapped it up. Wow. It was so simple, but it was delicious. I also fried up some tofu and wrapped rice paper around the tofu and some seaweed. This dish was also tasty. The biggest plug I can give for these spring rolls is that I (the one who typically forswears vegetables) simply consumed the lettuce I bought.

The rice paper. You can get it at any Asian market.

Blessings

I've seen some amazing God-things these past couple of months. I can't go into details here, but I do want to share what I've learned from my experiences.

1. God wants to bless us!
2. God wants to bless communities. He doesn't just want to bless "me" or "you," but he wants to bless "us"...That's how He loves to bless the most.

Here's what I mean by number 2.

This summer someone I know was sharing how God had blessed him. Another friend was so moved she started to cry. I was doubly moved. Moved by by my first friend's blessings and moved by my friend who cried. God took one blessing and drew three people closer to Him. But it didn't end there. He took one blessing and drew the three of us closer to each other. By sharing with each other how God had blessed, we found our relationships enriched and deepened. True, I might have loved both of these friends before, but I find my heart even more drawn to them now.

This morning one of the friends mentioned here texted me to tell me that God has blessed her and she wants to share. I can't wait to hear! When it comes to God's blessings, we can never be too greedy!